This afternoon I saw New Moon with my Girlie & her Girlie-friend.
Okay. Let's start by saying New Moon was my least favorite book in the Stephenie Meyers' Twilight series.
Here's why: far too much drama, Mama! Maybe mooning about inconsolably for the length of an entire, long novel is relateable to tweens and teens but Bella's living on the razor's edge looking longingly into the abyss gets old quickly.
Naively I hoped the movie would bring something different to the table. Somehow make it more, I don't know, endurable? Not. Bella was totally shattered throughout as expected but somehow through all this despair there is not one tear shed. Maybe I saw the sheen of a track of a tear but no real pathos. There were many screams of anguish (insert eye rolling here) but no real emotion. It was like watching a robot. If there had been a hint of sincerity I would have felt it and been crying along - I always cry along. I cried in church this morning as a matter of fact. I think I cried at the previews. At New Moon? I got nothing.
The upside was the forever-shirtless Jacob played by Taylor Lautner. Talk about eye candy! The downside is I felt slightly lecherous drooling over a 17 year old boy. I mean come on, he could be my son. Ewww!
Speaking of ewww! Edward, played by Robert Pattinson was completely unappealing in this movie with too much make up and nasty-looking contacts. Thus rendering me a Team Jacob minion until further notice.
And finally, I've got a beef with the messages this book/movie sends to our young girls (notably the 7 year-olds sitting behind me in the theater kicking my seat and giggling):
- My life is nothing without the boy I love.
- Not only one impossibly-handsome boy should be in love with me but two.
- I should immediately reconcile with the boy that destroyed my life the minute he'll take me back - no questions or reservations.
- I will do whatever it takes to be with this boy no matter who it hurts even if it means ending my life.
- My boy will have 12-pack abs and two cannons with which he'll carry me off into the sunset after I throw myself off the precipice of desperation.
As I said - far too much drama, Mama! I'll take a goofy romantic comedy any day over this emo-fest!
7 comments:
I never took the plunge and watched or read the books. The Lost Boys in the eighty was the last vampire flick I watched. Man, I'm getting old! :)
Thanks for the summary, now I can at least act like I know what everyone is talking about! :)
Stopping in from Sits! Bon Nuit!
I haven't read the books, but it sounds like you pinned it, nailed it and called it!
My youngest went with a friends mom and my oldest is grounded, so I got off the hook with this one!
Don't get me started on the "My life is nothing without the boy I love" mentality and how we present it to little girls. 'Little Mermaid', anyone? Grrrrrr.
(Dang, but that Jacob is one pretty little boy, though...)
I haven't seen it yet, but you are HILARIOUS!! Those are all the same things I couldn't stand about the book. I will still see the movie, but I'm sure it will have about the same impact on me as it did on you. :)
Happy Thanksgiving, SITSta! Your blog is adorable!
Hi there SITSta! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog.
I love what you've got going on over here. I especially love your New Moon, I mean Blue Moon post. Too funny. While I am totally in love with the entire Twilight series and don't necessarily agree with some of your opinions, you got me laughing nonetheless. Who wouldn't want some guy with 12 pack abs and two cannons to carry them off into the sunset?
Thanks again for stopping by my blog. Have a wondeful Monday.
-Kristi, Author of Hello...Is This On?
@TweetingMama
Thank heavens for your comments about what you didn't like! I fully agree with you, though this one is my favorite: "My boy will have 12-pack abs and two cannons with which he'll carry me off into the sunset after I throw myself off the precipice of desperation."
HAHAHAHA!!
Seriously, though, what's that supposed to be teaching young girls??
And good heavens to betsy, Edward, get a tan!
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